The Fabulous Vegas Brothers Blog

Rockford Photos

2006-09-10T13:03:00.000-05:00

We had a swingin' good time, in spite of the weather. A soggy day, some ill-placed fireworks, and a lot of loud bands surrounding us made for less than ideal performing circumstances. However, that has never stopped The Vegas Brothers! NOTHING stops The Vegas Brothers!

We even had a surprise visit from the one and only Bobby Vegas!

Unexpectedly, Bobby found himself home earlier than expected from his previous engagement. He called us up that day and asked if there was room for one more. There's always room for family. Besides, it was 10 minutes that none of us had to do!

It was a surprise for us all to have him there and we had a great time.

You wanna see some pics from the gig? Click HERE and enjoy!

Hell Yeah!

2006-09-03T12:15:00.000-05:00

If you miss the 8:00PM...

You can catch the 9:30 PM!

If you miss that one, you've missed out on the
coolest show to hit Rockford since
Ginger Lynn "opened" for Cheap Trick!

On the Waterfront

Patio Stage

8:00 PM & 9:30 PM

TONIGHT!

Listen Up, You RUMMIES! The Vegas Brothers Are Back!

2006-08-24T20:54:00.000-05:00

Putting the "ROCK" back in Rockford, Illinois!

Don't ask me why we haven't posted nuthin' new in awhile. Don't give me no guff about not posting (or performing) any shows. We're The Vegas Brothers dammit and we answer to no one (except our parole officers, guys with subpoenas, hot chicks with 4 martinis in 'em, and strippers named Bambi)! There are many long and maddening stories I could tell, but you should consider yerself lucky I'm talkin' to ya at all.

The important thing is...

THE VEGAS BROTHERS ARE BACK!

Yes indeed, The Fabulous Vegas Brothers are appearing at the most excellent On the Waterfront Festival in Rockford, Illinois on Sunday September 3rd, 2006. Sure I know their website makes no mention of it, but rest assured, they're gonna be there.

A somewhat abbreviated show, featuring Lance, Sonny, & Nicky Vegas ( Bobby's running from the mob & Shecky's in jail...Or is it rehab?) will take the stage at 8:00 PM and 9:30 PM. Shows are about one hour in length and promise to be fun-filled, swinging good times.

We're hoping that this will be the start of better days and we're eager to get all five of the Brothers together again for some more shows. These guys didn't have the dough for all five of us after spending so much on Ted freakin' Nugent. Zeesh! No worries, Bobby & Shecky will be with us in our hearts and since we can't afford to get either of them out of trouble, it's probably better they stay put where they are.

I Can Hardly Believe It Myself!

2006-08-22T20:25:00.000-05:00

Pssst...were alive and kicking. Details to follow....

The V.B on V.D.

2006-02-14T00:11:00.000-06:00

Valentine's Day marks the anniversary of the very first Vegas Brothers show. I'm kinda sad to talk about it because we haven't gotten together for a show or a good game of poker in awhile. In any event, whether the other four brothers are talking to me or not,

Happy Anniversary,

Vegas Brothers!

I bet you thought I was going to talk about the "other V.D.". Well thanks to a court order I'm not allowed to discuss that particular issue. I can say that Lance never should have booked us a gig down by the docks, but that's about it.

Happy Birthday, Joey!!!

2006-02-03T21:50:00.000-06:00

That's right, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Joey Bishop. February 3rd should be a national holiday. You sir, are the light in our lives and the inspiration behind all that is, was, and ever shall be...The Vegas Brothers!

The last surviving member of The Rat Pack, Joey Bishop was the single most influential driving force behind the creation of the world's GREATEST lounge act, The Vegas Brothers.

Years ago, long before we all decided to combine our genius on stage into one killer act, brother Lance Vegas, was fortunate enough to open for Joey at a casino on Laughlin, Nevada.

We were all so proud of Lance for keeping it together while in the presence of such greatness. We were also proud of Lance because this was the first time he was on stage since "the incident".

Coincidentally, this was the first time all of the brothers were together in the same room for anything other than a court appearance, a kegger, or to bury a dead hooker.

Lance was getting his big break and he wasn't about to let anyone ruin his chance to achieve greatness. When Lance went over his time by about 65 minutes, to the jeers and boos from the crowd, we all knew that he had arrived and we should not be too far behind if we wanted to score any poonanny in show business.

Joey actually came out on stage and the crowd exploded with applause. Lance, assuming the applause was for himself, pushed Joey to the side, knocking him over and breaking his hip. The show had to be cancelled and the angry crowd set the theatre on fire. It was the single greatest show any Vegas Brother had ever seen or appeared in. We were all hooked.

Joey, you are a GOD and we, The Fabulous Vegas Brothers, salute you. Please drop the lawsuit.

Hard to Believe Shelley Winters Is Gone

2006-01-23T21:15:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure, but I think Lance tagged her backstage at the Sahara in '92.

Sonny Is back!

2006-01-10T10:48:00.000-06:00

Hey Friends,
Welcome to a new year and new adventures for me. I went to Europe, had fun and spread my name around there like water on toast. Europeans have a hard time liking us Americans and that put a bad taste in my mouth, like a monkey poop sandwhich. I travelled to the UK, Germany and The Netherlands. I spent most of my time in Amsterdam smoking candy cigarettes and watching Blue Lagoon over and over. If Mom ever found out, She'd ground me.

The UK was a nice place if youre a frog. It was just like the movies, gloomy and foggy. I said hi to the Queen, but I'm not sure she heard me. Those guards at Buckingham Palace with the gorillas on their heads wont flinch for nothing. The only way I found out, to get them to move is to feed those gorillas on top of their heads bananas. I laughed seeing them trying to get those gorillas to calm down and sit on their heads again.

Big Ben is also a fat guy from Yorkshire and every cop is named Bobby! How cool huh Bobby?

My stay in Germany wasnt that long. It was just a layover to Amsterdam. I actually got to stay in Germany for about 20 minutes and then caught a flight to my final destination. With the time I spent in Germany, I had only time for one thing...poopers. Basically, I went to Germany to shit and I did.

Amsterdam had alot to offer and I would suggest that place to anyone who likes good food and no morals. I think the time I spent there warranted me at least 5 years in purgatory. But It was fun. I even hooked up with some musicians and formed a band called The Droogies.The name is from A Clockwork Orange, and the reference is about how they were their own little gang. I was the lead singer. They said I sang like a Alfalfa....on fire. "I'm the Barber of Seville, Figaro - Figaro"
Here is their website link:http://www.the-droogies.com/bandet.html

It was all fun and it is good to be back.

Hugs and kisses,

sOnNy

Get The Ex

2005-09-15T13:00:00.000-05:00

I thought this might be good for Nicky or any of his Ex's

http://www.gettheex.com/

Ring of Darkness

2005-08-05T11:11:00.000-05:00

I was at a video store last night, looking for a DVD copy of "Don't Put it in THERE #27", when I came across a new film, "Ring of Darkness". I have to assume this was a straight-to-video kind of horror film.

What caught my eye was the cast list. Right across the top of the cover were the two big stars of the film, 70's & 80's superchest, Adrienne Barbeau and American Idol's (season one) oddly attractive, Ryan Starr.

Now don't get me wrong. I'd happily make both of these fine ladies a Nicky Vegas Martini in order to dance the Hot & Sloppy with them. You rarely get to find films quite like this and I thought I'd share.

What you have here is quite amazing. You have a film designed to attract fans of mature & young hotties in peril, increasing the demographic appeal overall but that's not really the appeal.

You also have a flick where TOP BILLING is Adrienne Barbeau, while attractive & talented, should be on reality television shows now and not starring in any motion pictures. She was never known for her amazing acting talents. She was known for her smokin' bod and the acting was a great way to showcase the bog.

Next to her (not below her, mind you) is Ryan Starr, while attractive & talented, is a gal ONLY known for being ON reality TV shows (and her smokin' bod! I hear she also sings.).

I'd have KILLED to be on this film. In fact, I was up for the part of "Jake" but they wanted someone younger and dumber than ol' Nicky. Anyway, can you IMAGINE the behind-the-scenes drama there. There had to be some conflict between the aging icon and the up & coming whiny singer. The daily cat fights alone between Barbeau & Starr would have been worth watching. Hell, THAT should have been the film. I could guarantee a 30M box office weekend if you've got those two pulling hair and tearing shirts off of each other.

I didn't end up renting the flick. I was, after all, on a mission.

It also bears mentioning that Mink Stole is listed as a cast member, making the film even BETTER somehow!

A Drink for You

2005-08-04T14:42:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd share with you one of the many drinks that has generated so many ex-wives for old Nicky. I'm sure I'll have more drinks to share as there are many ex-wives in the Nicky Vegas history. For now, enjoy the Nicky Vegas Martini, a chick drink strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

In a cocktail shaker (with ice of course) add…

1 shot of vodka
½ shot of amaretto
½ shot of peach schnapps
½ shot of maraschino cherry syrup, Grenadine, or maraschino liqueur.

Shake well

Sugar the rim of a chilled martini glass. The best way is to take a piece of orange or lemon and coat the rim, then dip in sugar.

Strain into the glass and add a cherry. Let the liquid settle before serving. It looks much better that way. Presentation is everything!

Variations include adding a second shot of vodka for more punch or adding less schnapps for…well less schnapps taste! After that, plan on getting some lady lovin' cuz this one works well. Have a few yourself if there are only really UGLY ladies left in the room.

Complete Non Sequitur

2005-08-01T22:42:00.000-05:00

I know this has nothin' to do with nothin', but...when was the last time you remember seeing a commercial for pantyhose?

Just a Reminder

2005-07-31T22:33:00.000-05:00

You'll NEVER find five cooler cats than

The Vegas Brothers!

Booking: info@TheVegasBrothers.com

A Chicken Flavored Sucker?

2005-07-27T17:52:00.000-05:00

Some things are just too disgusting to comprehend.

SoNnY likes to eat just about any type of candy. Put that candy on a stick and he's so THERE! I swear if you covered a thumbnail in chocolate and put it on a stick he'd eat the damned thing.

Anyway, he's been strutting around the trailer all freakin' week because he just bought a ton of the single most awful confection in the known universe, the Pollito Asado.

This is a sucker, shaped like a roasted chicken, that boasts to be chicken flavored. They certainly look intriguing. However they taste like crap. Imagine what a sweaty monkey would taste like if you filtered it through an old race horse and you'd still not come close to how disgusting these things taste!

I suppose I don't have to mention that, once consumed, after a couple of hours, they return in a gaseous form that would make Bigfoot eyes explode.

They certainly don't taste like chicken, which is odd since everything is supposed to taste like chicken. They've got some sort of pepper in these things and the texture is a little like candied sandpaper.

I'm hoping SoNnY leaves his guard down for a bit because we're all thinking of melting these things down pour the liquid down the drain. It will certainly ruin the plumbing in the Airstream, but that's a risk we're willing to take. Mom is dating an RV repairman this week anyways.

Myron Floren

2005-07-24T14:23:00.000-05:00

Myron Floren died last night. We're all gonna miss ol' Myron.

Lance & I had a gig working Polkapalooza in Milwaukee some time back. No biggie.

Myron was the headliner which pissed us off something fierce. Lance was singing and I was there to spin some plates. We were also given an extra 10 bucks to keep Floren and Vlasta the Polka Queen away from each other. Apparently there was some bad history between those two. Something about gambling debts or whatever. All I know is that you should NEVER stiff an accordion player any cash. They're bloodthirsty bastards when it comes to the moolah!

Anyway, Lance had the dubious distinction of going on right before Myron and chose to do a rousing version of his classic song, "Welkie" (a parody of "Mickey"). Floren took offense to the line, "Oh Welkie, what a pity I don't understand how your show survived with Floren & his band." Freakin' primadonna!

Myron burst onto the stage and jerked the microphone out of Lance's hand. He stiff-armed Lance off the stage and screamed, "You Vegas Brothers will never work again! After I get through with you, you'll be lucky to work between strippers at Beansnappers! Do you know who I am? I'm Myron @#&$in Floren, by GOD!"

We got him back though. After the show we snuck back into the theatre and put about 5 cans of sneezing & itching powder into the bellows of his accordion. The next day, nearly 15,000 people, including Floren, had to be rushed to the hospital. It was a real tragedy, seeing that many people turn out for a polka festival. To this day people still get sick when they hear polka music.

As a side note, The Vegas Brothers did in fact get to work "between strippers" at Beansnappers. Let me say, as Myron said, we were in fact VERY LUCKY!

Rest in Peace, dear friend. You were loved by millions!

Beam Me Up, Scotty

2005-07-20T19:10:00.000-05:00

Yeah, it's with a heavy heart that I announce the passing of James "Scotty" Doohan. He was 85 years old and was one hard-working actor.

I have no proof of this, but there is a very good chance that he, rather unknowingly, was the father of our youngest brother, SoNnY. It would explain his strange obsessions with Star Trek and alcohol.

I remember hearing Shecky tell me that he met Doohan after a one-nighter in Atlantic City. He saw the guy at the bar of the Caesers Palace and decided to drop off a head shot and resumé to the guy, hoping to score a gig as Gay Klingon #42 in "Star Trek VIII, The Unnecessary Sequel" . Doohan used Shecky's photo as a coaster and offered to buy him a drink.

When Doohan asked Shecky what he wanted to drink, Shecky simply pointed to a bottle of Jim Beam and yelled, "Beam me up, Scotty". Immediately afterwards Doohan crushed my brother's nose with an ashtray and left.

He'll be missed by at least four of The Vegas Brothers.

You Pay What We Pay

2005-07-18T21:19:00.000-05:00

That's all the rage these days, giving the common man the employee discount on the purchase of new cars. It all started with GM. See, those guys lost BILLIONS of dollars last quarter because they passed on the Hybrid technology and made cars so darned big you could put a Suburban in the back seat of your Hummer. Anyway, they needed a boost in sales and they came up with this concept.

OK, I don't need a new car. My Yugo still works just fine. But I did a little research on this thing and after seeing what the big discount is per car, I've come to a conclusion.

Being a GM employee must suck royal donkey meat!

I'll just assume they're not REALLY giving you the employee price, cuz I can't see working for a company where the employee discount is so lame.

Fans & Students of Comedy UNITE! AMC Bans "The Aristocrats"

2005-07-14T13:52:00.000-05:00

I won't bother with a long post, mostly because Penn didn't ask any of The Vegas Brothers to tell our own version of the joke and we're still bitter about it. However, any lovers of comedy or students of the art should be able to se the film "The Aristocrats" even without the genius of The Vegas Brothers.

Check out this post by friend and ultra-hack, I mean HIP comedian, Andy Martello and learn more about the story and what you can do to bring this film to your home town.

Personally, I think this is all a clever publicity stunt for the film. Penn Jillette is one crafty bastard and I could see trying to orchestrate the banning in order to generate interest in the dirty film. Mysteriously the theatres will decide to run the flick and BOOM - record numbers at the box office. Regardless, check it out and do what you can to make this film hit your town.

Grilling Doesn't Make a Damn Thing More Portable!

2005-07-11T01:53:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to get that off my chest.

If you have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, just listen carefully to the commercials for the newest craptacular menu item in the Taco Bell Universe. They claim that this little treat is, "grilled for MAXIMUM portability!"

When you are on the road as much as I am (working and avoiding...uh...problems) you get a lot of time to think about the stuff that is wrong with the world. Currently, Taco Bell is what's wrong.

Lance & Nicky Vegas ROCK!

2005-07-09T12:47:00.000-05:00

Last night's show at Brandon Casey's was most excellent! Everyone loved The Vegas Brothers. Well, they loved Lance & me the most. It was kinda like the other three brothers weren't even there. ;)

Maybe if I can get this equipment to work I'll post some stills from the show or something.

Stalkers Unite! We Have the Info for July 8th!

2005-07-05T11:08:00.000-05:00

Drop your weenies and grab your martinis! The Vegas Brothers are heading out to BRADLEY, ILLINOIS on July 8th, 2005.
Next stop...SUPERSTARDOM!

Here are the details.

Brandon Casey's
235 N. Kinzie Ave
Bradley, IL.

8:00 PM show

We're Performing SOMEWHERE July 8th

2005-07-01T19:47:00.000-05:00

I'd like to be able to tell you where. I'd like to tell you what time. I'd like to tell you how much the cover charge is gonna be. I can't do any of those things. Lance won't come out of his trailer and he's the guy with all the info. Maybe you should e-mail Lance and bug him about where the gig is gonna be.

So...if you're in Bradley, IL on July 8th, 2005, go wherever they have comedy/variety shows and look for The Vegas Brothers. We'll be there at some location, performing sometime during the day...or evening.

Carry on.

Oh yeah, if he's feeling up to it, this will mark the grand return of Mr. Bobby Vegas to the stage. I hope we can better promote this mutha before then. I'm sure he'd like that.

Tigger is Deaded

2005-06-28T20:03:00.000-05:00

Bad news everybunny....

Paul Winchell, a ventriloquist, inventor and children's TV show host best known for creating the lispy voice of Winnie the Pooh's animated friend Tigger, has died. He was 82.

Winchell died Friday morning in his sleep at his Moorpark home, Burt Du Brow, a television producer and close family friend, told the Los Angeles Times.
Over six decades, Winchell was a master ventriloquist — bringing dummies Jerry Mahoney and Knucklehead Smiff to life on television — and an inventor who held 30 patents, including one for an early artificial heart he built in 1963.

But he was perhaps best known for his work as the voice of the lovable tiger in animated versions of A.A. Milne's "Winnie the Pooh" — with his trademark "T-I-double grrrr-R."
Winchell first voiced Tigger in 1968 for Disney's "Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day," which won an Academy Award for best animated short film, and continued to do so through 1999's "Winnie the Pooh: Seasons of Giving."

http://www.paulwinchell.com/

I am so sad.
Sonny

Thanks, Tech Wench!

2005-06-25T14:35:00.000-05:00

Among my most lovely of future ex-wives is Tech Wench, the creator of this way cool blog skin.

Apparently Blogger, being kinda evil, arbitrarily added some sort of techno-crapola-code to all the blogs that did not feature their premade templates. This upset the Wench something fierce and you DON'T wanna upset the Wench!

I know nuthin' about this stuff. I do know that she came in & fixed whatever was wrong with the thing and this blog is as happy as ever. Thanks, kid.

Now if I could get the rest of my good-for-nothing brothers to actually contribute and post once in awhile. I swear I do all the work to promote this fantastic little group of ours. Zeesh!

Out of the Hospital, but Not Out of the Woods

2005-06-23T09:29:00.000-05:00

Bobby was released from the hospital last Saturday, but he's still got a high fever and a few other icky symptoms. He's been too tired to check all his e-mails and will be limited to bed rest for a good while longer.

He has noticed quite a few e-mails from our fans and he asked me to say a big THANK YOU to everyone for the well-wishes.

All the Vegas Brothers wish Bobby the best and hope he can stop being sick and start making audiences sick again very soon.

There'll be some more VB news and posts here this week. We've got to tend to a few of these needs first.